"Jump Start" Coaching
Letter Excerpt

The following short excerpt is from an emailed letter I sent to a client. This gives you a chance to see what value can be provided through a personalized and detailed response to your particular concerns and challenges. Names have been changed to protect privacy.

OK, let me know if I've got this right:

1) You're "supposed" to go out of town with Jack but you're not sure you want to and you "want a way out" of the trip.

2) Cutting it off with Jack without having a boyfriend back-up plan is super scary--so you've put some feelers out into the E-harmony world.

3) You wonder if you can even give a new guy an honest chance "while still wrapped up in this mess with Jack."

4) "I obviously haven't been that successful in relationships, but aren't you supposed to click on most levels????"

5) You wonder, "is it totally cheating to even be looking?????"

What do these five statements say to you?

I'm going to give you an assignment that you can choose to do or not. And, unless you think it is totally unrelated to the issue and/or dumb *wink*, I think your decision to do it or not will tell you something important about your commitment to increasing your insight and working on your self-improvement.

1) I want you to think about and then write how each of these statements relates to what you mentioned in your email--not loving yourself enough. You can define that as broadly as you wish, but I really want you to take some time to think about how these statements reveal more about your self-image, self-confidence, and self-care. In other words, what do these statements say about your deserving happiness? About your integrity? About knowing and doing what is right for you? About identifying and dealing with your fears? About you being happy and content with you? About what you WANT to do versus what you ARE doing?

(Given that you feel like you haven't been very successful in relationships, the problems you're having with Jack could happen with the next guy you date, or the next, etc. If there are things about you that are attracting you to incompatible people, or making you more accepting of treatment you'd rather not, or keeping your full happiness in check in order to decrease your vulnerability, those issues can't be tamed by the next man in your life. The movement towards personal fulfillment and peace begins with you.)

2) When you're done, let it sit for a day or so. Your subconscious will mull these issues through and you may find yourself with some new thoughts/ideas. What new insights came to you? What was revealed to you? Do you see things any differently now? How?

This might feel like a tricky assignment, and I think it might take you some time to do. That's OK. This is important stuff and you deserve to take the time to figure it out.

In your email you mentioned working on your own personal development. The activity I gave you above segues right into that so you'd be right on track to keep moving in that direction.