Establishing Personal BoundariesHow have you been at establishing personal boundaries? Do you still struggle with setting your limits with others?A simple definition of personal boundaries is the limits you set for your physical, emotional, and social space. They are the place you're willing to meet people.
But your fence isn't the Great Wall of China! It's not built to be rock solid and last for centuries. People don't feel threatened or shut out by it. Instead, people respect your privacy and straightforwardness. Sometimes people do put up brick walls around themselves, but those walls are more about past hurts than establishing personal boundaries. Most of us do have some walls, usually around our most sensitive and fragile parts, and that is OK. It is a sign of setting good boundaries to have parts of yourself that are only available to a select few. Your picket fences are protecting the more public and open parts of yourself and your life. Your picket fence also has a nice little gate that you can, for emergencies, open to let someone in. For example, it would be OK for your sister, who was just in an accident, to call you after 10PM, even if that is your official phone cut off time. You would likely be hurt if she didn't call.
But most of the time though, your gate is shut and locked and you are likely healthier and happier for it!
Establishing personal boundaries takes time and practice. Here are some signs of unhealthy boundaries:
1. Telling all 2. Falling in love with a new acquaintance 3. Talking on an intimate level at the first meeting 4. Acting on the first sexual impulse 5. Being sexual for your partner, not yourself 6. Not noticing when someone else displays inappropriate boundaries 7. Not being able to say "No" to others 8. Going against personal values to please another person 9. Giving as much as you can give for the sake of giving 10. Letting others define who you are 11. Believing others can anticipate your needs 12. Falling apart so someone can take care of you Have poor boundaries led you to emotional burn out?
Establishing personal boundaries takes diligence and determination. Most of us need to work on it continually, as we often find ourselves in situations that test the strength of our fence.
A life coach can help you to: * identify your limits * determine what boundaries to set * be accountable for keeping your fence strong * recognize and celebrate your success!
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Setting personal boundaries is like erecting a nice little picket fence to keep your yard private. You don't want people wandering through your flowerbeds, peeking in your windows, or camping in your yard.
