Are You an Effective Listener?

Are you an effective listener? You already know that excellent communication is one of the most important tools for success, and when you're good at it, others notice.

Many people think that they need to have strong persuasive and conversational skills and, while these are important, what you may not realize is just how significant being able to listen well is.

Without an effective listener, none of your conversational skills matter.

That’s because no matter how clear your points may be, if the other person isn’t an effective listener, your message won’t be heard or understood.

Keep in mind that listening accounts for at least 50% of the communication effort so it's worth it to develop this important skill.

Are you a good listener? Here are some methods you can use to become a better listener:

• Be quiet. Sometimes when you're involved in a heated or exciting conversation, you start to focus on what you're going to say next. You may even be tempted to interrupt the other person to make yourself heard. Not only are you not paying full attention to what the other person is saying, in most cases, that person can tell you're distracted!

  Try to keep your mouth closed and your brain focused on their words, tone, and body language until they're through talking.

• Look interested. The six types of nonverbal communication are important when you’re trying to be a better listener. If you look bored, impatient, disinterested, distracted, or uncaring, the person trying to communicate with you will likely pick up on these subtle hints. They may be flustered, annoyed, or choose to stop sharing with you.

  Physically engage with the person talking. Maintain eye contact, nod your head, or smile. Let the other person know you understand what they’re saying and encourage them to say more.

• Restate the highlights. One way to be a better listener is to repeat the other person’s points. This shows that you’re paying attention and, depending on the tone you use, agree or disagree with them. You can even summarize what they said in your own words.

  Make sure not to share your own opinion when restating their ideas. You simply want to communicate that you thoroughly understand what they’re talking about.

• Be curious. Ask your conversational partner questions to clarify your understanding and to enhance your perceived level of interest. Most people love to talk (especially about themselves *smile*) and will be flattered that you want to know more about them and their ideas.

• Be patient. It's important to be patient, especially when talking with people who don’t communicate very well or who may be shy. If you're impatient, you may scare off the other person or unintentionally end the conversation early.

• Follow their lead. Trying to be a better listener doesn’t mean that your only goal is to listen. You’ll certainly want to add to the conversation too. You just want to be careful not to overpower the other person or take over the discussion. Say your piece when it’s requested or when there is a natural break in the exchange.

  And remember – practice makes perfect!

  After an important conversation, ask yourself what you remember from the discussion. Jot down some of the details if you need to.

  Did you try to let the other person do most of the talking?

  So are you a good listener?

  When you successfully avoid dominating conversations, you'll be able to truly hear what people have to say. And you’ll be surprised at what you learn!
  
  

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