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The Three Main
Communication Styles

The three communication styles are Aggressive, Assertive, and Passive. Which one do you exhibit most often? Which one works the worst? Take a look at the descriptions and see which one best fits you!



Aggressive/Controlling

  • I want to control what happens.

  • It is going to be my way.

  • I am not going to listen to you.

  • If anything goes wrong it is your fault.

  • I am not backing down.

  • My voice is often loud and demanding.

  • My body language is "in your face."

    Someone who has an aggressive communication style makes others feels as though their feelings don't matter and that they aren't important. People who are aggressive tend to be feared and disrespected by others. The nonverbal signs that accompany this communication style: narrowed eyes, loud voice, crossed arms, challenging tone of voice, pointing fingers.



    Assertive/Problem-solving

  • I don't want to fight or hide; I want to solve the problem.

  • I will tell you what I want.

    Assertive Communication Style

  • I will stand up for what I believe in.

  • I am willing to change if I need to.

  • I am willing to listen to you.

  • My voice is strong and clear.

  • My body language is looking you in the eye.

    Someone who has an Assertive communication style is able to stand up for her rights while still respecting the rights of others. People who are assertive tend to have higher self esteem, self-respect, and respect from others. The nonverbal signs that accompany this style: looking direct, relaxed posture, confidence, even tone of voice.



    Passive/Avoiding

  • I will let you walk all over me.

  • Whatever you say.

    Passive = doormat

  • It must be my fault.

  • I complain about things, but I never seem to change.

  • My voice is whiny, or fearful.

  • My body language is backing away, no eye contact.

  • If you get too aggressive, I will run away.

    Someone who speaks passively tends to puts others' rights before her own. Passive people tend to be disrespected by others, have lowered self-esteem, and feel taken advantage of. The nonverbal signs that accompany this style: lowered head, overly soft/whiney tone of voice, minimal eye contact.


    Which of these communication styles best describes you? Do you use different styles with different people in your life?

    Trying to incorporate more Assertive communications tactics into your life can help to increase your own confidence as well as increase the respect and appreciation others show you!






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